This is Me

kreativethought: Rhythm Natives // Holdin’ It Down feat. Miss...

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:46:40 -0800

Rhythm Natives // Holdin’ It Down feat. Miss Jenn K

[produced by Asi Friedman and Rhythm Natives]

[rhythmnatives & jerilene]

Timmy just started playing L.A. Noir and I am really diggin the...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 23:32:12 -0700

Timmy just started playing L.A. Noir and I am really diggin the soundtrack. I did a little bit of research and found out that there is a soundtrack album with many great artists on it and a remix album with producers and dj’s such as DJ Premier. I am thinking about copping it, as I was quite impressed. Immediately, I was inspired to turn on my John Coltrane station on Pandora and read a good book. Currently, I am reading “The Lotus Eaters” by Tatjana Soli using the Kobo app on my awesome iPad. With the craziness of my work day, I thoroughly enjoyed the relaxation.

What is this, the "Derelicte" campaign?!

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 10:17:16 -0800

What is this, the "Derelicte" campaign?!:

Totally thought of Zoolander when I saw these pics from the Chanel fashion show in Paris.

Pics of Massive Fish Death in Redondo Beach

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:28:33 -0800

Pics of Massive Fish Death in Redondo Beach:

I saw all of the stories about this massive fish death in Redondo Beach Harbor yesterday and found these pics on LA Times today. It looks crazy!!! I almost want to go down there to look at it. Afterward I googled mass animal deaths, since it seems like there have been quite a few lately, and read about how it’s actually quite common. I don’t know, meng. 2012 Apocalypse?

Why You're Not Married by Tracy McMillan

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:30:34 -0800

I read this today and found it amusing…

You want to get married. It’s taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud — even in your mind — feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you’re hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You’ve never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother’s wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride — she was so effing happy — and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you’re not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering… Deep, deep breath… Why you’re not married.

Well, I know why.

How? It basically comes down to this: I’ve been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister’s son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated — traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I’ve become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships — someone who’s had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.

But I won’t lie. The problem is not men, it’s you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they’re not really standing in your way. Because the fact is — if whatever you’re doing right now was going to get you married, you’d already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let’s look at the top six reasons why you’re not married.

1. You’re a Bitch.
Here’s what I mean by bitch. I mean you’re angry. You probably don’t think you’re angry. You think you’re super smart, or if you’ve been to a lot of therapy, that you’re setting boundaries. But the truth is you’re pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it’s scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here’s what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn’t think so. You’ve seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man’s fear and insecurity in order to get married — but actually, it’s perfect, since working around a man’s fear and insecurity is big part of what you’ll be doing as a wife.

2. You’re Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man’s character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you’re not married, I already know it isn’t. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You’re a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It’s why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that’s how it happened. And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You’re a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he’s married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, “I’m not really available for a relationship right now.”

You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don’t want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don’t tell him that. That’s your secret — just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can’t live without you. I have news: he will never “figure” this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn’t be lying to him in the first place.

5. You’re Selfish.
If you’re not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don’t have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy — or at least a guy with a really, really good job — would solve all your problems.

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It’s not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say — if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

6. You’re Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don’t think that. You do. I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don’t know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won’t love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son’s artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you’re trying to be. They’re attractive, sure. They’re just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.

Alright, so that’s the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You’re just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won’t. Once the initial high wears off, you’ll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something — it’s about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession — a free-agent penis — and for us, it’s the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son. Follow her on Twitter.

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 10:41:50 -0800

I just finished reading this book, which I really enjoyed. When I bought the book, I didn’t realize that it was written from the point of view of a dog. So, when I started reading I found it a little weird. I was thinking it may be kind of corny but it was actually pretty funny. The book touches on a lot of things that hit close to home and really make you think. There’s a part in the book where the dog is analyzing why people have such a hard time relating spirituality and science, when to him they seem to go hand in hand. He says that “bodies evolve and souls evolve and the universe is a fluid place that marries them both in a wonderful package called a human being.” Being that I’ve always loved both science (I do have a BS in Biology for God’s sake) and spirituality, I really like that concept. Maybe we did evolve from monkeys, but what is the driving force that’s gotten us here? If you’ve ever studied the intricacies of nature or how the human body functions down to the cellular level, how can you not believe in some kind of higher power? It’s pretty amazing. Anyway, the book is about the struggles we have in life, however difficult they may be, and learning to create your own destiny by making good decisions, never giving up, and having a little faith. I even teared up a little while reading it. I definitely recommend it. I am really loving this Kobo app that I have been reading books on my Blackberry with. I also just realized that they have over 100 classic books to read for free, so I think I’m going to read War and Peace and see what it’s all about…

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 08:45:39 -0800

I just finished reading this book and I really liked it. It’s basically a collection of autobiographical essays written by David Sedaris. He has a way of looking everyday life in an unexpected, random, and humorous way. I definitely laughed out loud while reading. A few years back I read “Magical Thinking” by Augusten Burroughs, who is the author of “Running With Scissors.” “When You Are Engulfed in Flames” totally reminded me of that book because I think their style and sense of humor are pretty similar. Sometimes the book reminded me of an episode of Family Guy, in that he relates stories or situations to each other that, to the average person, wouldn’t seem to correlate. I read the book on my Blackberry on the Kobo app I downloaded, which is very cool because it’s always with me. I’m going through books like their going out of style. What should I read next?!

JCVD Teaches you how to dance to dubstep!

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:39:54 -0800

JCVD Teaches you how to dance to dubstep!:

OMG! This is super awesome!

Kerry Washington Looking Hot

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 10:35:07 -0800

Kerry Washington Looking Hot

National Geographic Photo Contest

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 08:11:29 -0800

National Geographic Photo Contest:

These are pretty amazing!

WTF?! Justin Bieber teaches Barbara Walters how to dougie.

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:37:32 -0800

WTF?! Justin Bieber teaches Barbara Walters how to dougie.

And the Ho Train Continues… Someone tell Keri Hilson to...

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:08:38 -0800

And the Ho Train Continues…

Someone tell Keri Hilson to just stop!

Pedestrian Killed by Debris from Car Crash

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 09:28:17 -0800

Pedestrian Killed by Debris from Car Crash:

This is some messed up shiz! How are you gonna get killed by getting hit in the head by flying debris from a car crash?! It’s a crazy world out there, so wear your helmets folks. For real though, it makes you realize that life is a gift that can be taken away at any second by some random twist of fate. Thank you, Big Baby Jesus!

can i put my P in your V

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 18:07:17 -0800

Anytime. Let’s scissor!

Ho Fa Sho! I saw this video about a week ago and I was kind of...

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:06:50 -0800

Ho Fa Sho!

I saw this video about a week ago and I was kind of excited to see it play out with all of the random female singers in it (JoJo, Faith Evans, Dawn), but got really sad once it continued. I couldn’t believe how ho-ey she was in the video. I mean, I think I saw her meat curtains a few times. I’m down for chicks expressing their sexuality, but that sh!t was a little overboard. Some might say that dudes do it all of the time (i.e. songs like Gimme Some Head) and it’s generally accepted, but I disagree. I still think it’s dirt nasty when a dude is straight up talking about getting some head with slunty ass chicks in the video and I wouldn’t buy those records either. Maybe Keri felt like no one was listening so she had to show some booty to get everyone’s attention. I miss the days of old school lyrics where they might talk about sex and you know it’s about sex, but it is more subtle. Even a song as overtly sexual as “Sexual Healing” uses metaphors and creatively addresses the subject. Doesn’t it sound so much better to say, “I can’t wait for you to operate,” rather than “I can’t wait for you get on this d!ck and ride it all night long?” I even watched a video with her and Perez Hilton where she was defending her video and song and I wasn’t convinced. She said she was in the studio with all of her girlfriends and they were yelling out the things that they think and say to their men. One of those things was that sometimes a girl just wants to be f@cked instead of making love and I got the kinda pussy that will keep you off the streets. Keri, while that might be true, I don’t need to be all up in your business like that. I dunno. I’m just sayin…

So Funny - This Made Me Cry.

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 16:28:13 -0800

So Funny - This Made Me Cry.:

Click the Link! JanBu just made me read through these and I immediately started laughing so hard I was crying. You know this has happened to you before! I’m not so sure why the iphone has such an affinity for the word penis. DAMN YOU AUTO CORRECT!!!!

Orcas Surf Too!

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 09:17:00 -0800

Orcas Surf Too! :

Click the Link. The pics are cool :)

I can feel it in my plums!

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:27:00 -0700

I can feel it in my plums!

Serena Williams or Wanda from In Living Color?!?! Dizzam she is...

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:26:54 -0700

Serena Williams or Wanda from In Living Color?!?! Dizzam she is buff!

My Favorite Bum

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:06:00 -0700

I have a favorite homeless guy. He lives near my house. I didn’t see him for a while and I was sad, but now he’s back. Except for the fact that he might be the one who shat on the wall behind my apartment, he’s quite entertaining. Just the other day he lifted his shirt and rubbed himself as I drove by. Today he was sitting by the freeway exit listening to some music and jamming out. When I say jamming out, I mean his eyes were rolling back and his head was waving around. Sometimes he likes to cross the street and yell out obscenities. I once heard him yell, “Who the F*** are you to tell me I can’t drink myself to death?” By all means, brotha, drink on! I first saw him in the middle of the street on the island dancing like Michael Jackson. That’s the day he became my favorite bum. Speaking of bums, there are a few that I see everyday on my way from job #1 to job#2. When I first got the job I was feeling thankful and decided I might give some money to those guys who are less fortunate than me when I get my first paycheck from this new job. Then, I saw one of them run off to the corner to talk on his cell phone. Unfortunately, that bum ruined it for the rest of them. I can’t even take them seriously anymore. I might need this money more than they do. At least they don’t have rent! And what’s the deal with homeless people with dogs. How are you going to try to take responsibility for another creature when you’re just getting by? Anyway, it’s not that I don’t feel for those guys, because I do, but some things just boggle my mind.